EcnaLab | Balance

Category: Poem

Wanting Less

I realized something last night
deep in my mind a voice cracked through the inner storm

We suffer because we want

I want
fewer meetings, more lovers
the kids to stop fighting
work that is actually meaningful
less throbbing head and body pain
more sleep, less stress

I used to want a thinner body and more money too
but those two friends are poking their heads in less often now

What would it be like to not want things to be different?
Simple. If we didn’t want, we wouldn’t suffer

Let life be as it is

There are meetings, I have one lover
The kids fight
Work isn’t always meaningful
My body experiences pain
Insomnia happens, life includes stress
Body shapes are largely predetermined,
And a lot of money requires a lot of work but is not required to live

This is the way it is
Wanting it to be different only causes intense suffering

My intention today
is to step off the hedonic treadmill
and float in the less

Inner Storm

Drowning sadness
Swirling rage
Longing that claws savage

Crazy nervous
Moving All
The
Time

Desperate wild-eyed everydays
Gasping for a pause in

the Crisis
That lives inside
Storming tender beauty
Tormenting ravaging scraping away

Until I collapse
In a mushy puddle
Unable to take one more breath
And yet I do
Somehow

Because this is life
for me

And I must live.

A Poem by Rumi

The Essence of Ritual

Pray the prayer that is the essence
of every ritual. God, I have no hope.
I am torn to shreds. You are my first,
my last and only refuge.

Do not do daily prayers like a bird
pecking its head up and down.

Prayer is an egg.
Hatch out
the total helplessness inside.

Pieces

Do you want a piece of me?

Yeah?
Well get in line.

Every day hundreds of emails pour in
At least a dozen of them asking for something.

Is this what success feels like
To have to say no to 90% of what comes to you?
To have to beat people back with a stick
Until you have no energy left for yourself?

I’m only one small person
Kicking to stay free of the back-current
Not a big persona
That can weather all storms

For some people
I would gladly give my all
But for most others
I wish they would leave me alone

I go to my quiet place
And try to stay calm

Find balance

Rest

If I gave a piece of me to everyone
How would I keep my
Whole?

Run

Carry me, my flying feet
to worlds beyond beyond

Sculpt my untrained body
into a glowing golden goddess

Be my light, my source
my deep of strength
save me from the hypercycles and destructive desires

Outlet my static then knock me out
for blissful, necessary rest.

On a random whim
i began to
run
i ran and ran
until i knew nothing else
but that i run
and want to run
and need to run

Carry me, my flying feet
Away and Away
and when I’ve gone far enough,
bring me back

Home.

Buzz

Can I crawl under a blanket
Please?

Social exhaustion
Media overload
Everyone wanting something from me

Who will steady me
In all this buzz
Nurture my delicate flower heart
So gently?

The tide is rising
My blanket is soggy
But all the shelter I have.

Freedom Poem #1: Lose Yourself

blue chewing oozes under crystallized intensity
misty rise to sicken independent grubs
i wander by with laserly meandering
only to find shredded hugs pooling true

hurry before the water comes
if you dare to take your freedom
containers never suited you anyway

sweet spark of a listening pearl
black swirls choking in rhythm
i drop glances in buckets of harsh
willing a permeating quiet

sometimes you have to lose your self to find yourself

Letting Go: A Poem

I wrote this poem in May 2009.

——–

green stranglings cough tables into crushing oblivion
hearts crushed bodies weak souls beyond crying

light calls
so faintly

blackness

ears strain flowers fly swirls streak flamingly

abyss yourself or climb to paradise
actually just let go and fall to paradise

let go

loose free-fall ahhh spinning stop! no, go screams chaos filmy grime chest caving
trees creep silently through veins of cash
bags there just open eyes to see them, love there too

what? the blind can see the wise one says no and yes as the river flows
there is no thing.

don’t block the flow
get out of the way
let the river go
you were never in control